A boy in jail doesn't think he is a boy at all. As a matter of fact, he has seen more and endured more than those who profess to judge him. They may be right in their own right, or wronged in their own wrong. The truth lies somewhere between guilt and morality. But never forget a boy in jail is still merely a lost young man who was left without a mentor to guide his frustrations, focus them into a creative abundance that could light his way and open the doors of love.
This Boy was unique, like everyone else. He knew it and it made him lash out at himself. It amused those around him, those that were masters of the moon. They traveled together but always apart, pivoting between the fair light and their convicted emotions. But one day his liberators turned into shadows. The strength he gleaned from them was an illusion and the light at the end of the tunnel had been extinguished. Left with only his ideas of what he could be in jail, he only saw the walls. What was outside them was a mystery now. What was beyond them before now a transitory dream. Or nightmare.
So where does a boy in jail begin to begin again? Does he start with his anger? His broken heart? No, there is far too much of that and that's part of why he is here. Forgiveness? But of whom? Himself? His Father who he wished could have been the one to tell him what to do? Not his Mother. She was always telling him what to do and he always did the opposite. He despised being told what to do...by anyone, really. Can't blame a Mother for her love or wanting to nurse a son who is obviously crying out.
So for a Boy in jail to begin somewhere is to not begin at all. One tires of washing oneself of their guilt when you are only left in the same dirty guiltwater. He could hear his grandmother,"Wash as high as possible, then wash as low as possible. Once finished, wash possible"
Now here, sitting in jail he finally understands. If he could find a way to take care of the slightest first, the small things above and below the dirty shithole, then he can take care of that last. Then he can stomach what he must do. Then he can emerge a man.